I just had this huge realization about myself, and I just feel like I need to share it with you, whoever you may be that is reading this….
I’ve been writing A LOT for the past week. Almost non-stop, I’ve been going and going and going on an outside project that has to do with my other blog and taking the next step in writing. I’ve enjoyed every single minute of this whole writing process, and it has been a huge challenge for me to dig deep enough down inside of me and figure out not what it is that I have to tell, but what God can tell others through me.
Many times I find myself staring at the many books that line my bookshelves. Even here in my college apartment, I have probably close to, if not more than, 100 books. Back home, I have even more. I absolutely love them, and if I could choose any job for myself in the future. I would write. I would fill thousands of pages of books with my thoughts about life and true beauty and what it really means to love someone because of God’s deep love. I can’t guarantee that it would make me happy all the time or anything, but I know that I would be following a calling that is deep down within me, a deeper desire to serve the Lord than I know.
And so I look around me, and I see the evidence that it can be done–that God has enabled other of His precious children to write in love for Him. Sometimes, I can only gaze out through my big, torteshell glasses that make me feel ever more like a true writer and wonder, “What if? But, God, what else?”
With my passions and my life that lives through pen and paper and a keyboard underneath my fingertips, what else is there for me to do? To become a dietitian? Don’t think so… To become a teacher? Yea maybe… To become a… something else other than a writer? I really don’t know.
I guess I’m just feeling lost because I can’t think of anything else that I’d rather do than write about my life with God and our conversations and just how I see the world in general because of the eyes that He’s given me. That’s the longest and most exhaustive sentence that I’ve ever written on this blog, and yet I still don’t think that it expresses my current state in limbo land.
If you get a spare moment or two, I’d really appreciate a prayer. Prayer is sooo powerful, and I really need some right now.
By the way, thank you so much everyone for reading my blogs. It is truly such an encouragement to know that these words–no matter how jumbled they may be at times–are reaching someone. But even more than just reaching someone, but to know that they are touching someone, maybe even you, it makes all of my time even in limbo land worthwhile.
Praying your day is filled with His all-consuming and glorious Sonshine,